I am back to being a stay at home mom, but I have no kids at home. I know this sounds extremely weird and lazy. Also, a lot of people would think I am just a lazy wife who likes to lay around all day. But, I have moved from a full time student, army reserves, full time ROTC to waking up and cleaning everyday.  

The reason my children are not at home because my magnificent husband came up with the idea of putting our children in daycare 2x a week to save my sanity and allow me the ability to get stuff done around the house. But, our daycare provider will not allow us the ability to do this till December 26, which is like 1 1/2 months away. 

So, I go to bed every day very late and wake up very late with nothing on my mind. All I do is clean, clean , clean, cook, clean, clean etc.  My life has dwindled down to cleaning and cooking. I spend my life cleaning, cooking and trying to listen to those I love in my life.

One more thing. My father told me he was "disappointed" in me because I left the IUPUI ROTC program to help with my family. 

Why do I feel so depressed? I have a husband who loves me and allows me the ability to stay home everyday.  I have a husband who tries to make sure that stress is MINIMIZED in my life.  Why I am sad? Why do I feel like there is so much more that I could do? 

Oh well. I have quit 2x with the ROTC program and was told I would never be given another chance. I better  try to get in the mindset of a stay at home mom or I will be hurting worse soon.  Just wish I knew what I used to think when I was staying at home with Juniper. 

Who I am

So,  I have had alot go on in my life. I graduated High school with a 4.0 GPA and an Army ROTC Scholarship to an extremely Private Military School in Northfield, Vermont, but somehow I have always had the pull of personal relationships turn me back to Indianapolis,Indiana.

I left Norwich University for my current boyfriend at the time, who was a massive asshole who continuously used me for money.  What sucks is, I did not realize this till I left the greatest military school (besides west point) and was attending Advanced Individual Training for the enlisted side of the military when he stole every cent from my bank account plus some.  I know, why was I so stupid to allow him the ability to get money when ever he wanted? Because I actually thought I loved him and he loved me. Turns out, he was just an asshole who wanted some extra money and a woman loyal enough to do anything he wanted.  At the time, I did not realize this and would have never said this out loud (because I did not want to hurt anyone's feelings), but after a long time of thinking about it... It's true... he was a jerk who continuously made me angry and cry...

But, I did dump his scrawny ass after training with the military and met the greatest guy of my life (granted I dumped him AFTER I met "the great guy of my life").  I really wish I could have retrieved back the 1300 + he stole from me, but that would have probably cost me more pain and misery that I wanted to deal with at the time. Thankfully, I had great Drill Sergeants who helped me get home, even though I had no money to hitchhike on the back of a pick up truck.

But, after a couple of months back in Indianapolis as a Human Resource Specialist in the National Guard, I met the greatest guy ever at Mo'joe's Cafe,  my husband Joel Spriggs.  

When I say that everything personal leads me back to Indianapolis, I am being DEAD SERIOUS!  When I met Joel, I was a very bad soldier and ditched a deployment to Iraq by joining the ROTC program at Indiana Unversity-Purdue University, Indianapolis because I liked him SOOO much I was afraid he would dump me in Iraq. " Bad Sarah.. very bad Sarah". Not saying that I did not want to be an Army Officer or that I did this on a whim. I had been thinking about it for a while and this made it the sticking point.  To this day, I wish I would have stuck with the great program at IUPUI and followed a great path of being an United States Army Officer.   But, at least this relationship turned out to be the greatest one of my life...even though it ended in me not really doing what I wanted with my life.. at least my husband loves me and works hard for my kids and I.

So, after 2 years in college, Joel and I got engaged in Downtown Chicago and 3 months later became pregnant with our first daughter, Juniper Willow Spriggs.  I was the happiest woman alive the day he proposed and am still very happy to be his wife and caregiver of our children.  But, we can talk about that later..

Anyways, I left the ROTC program when I found out I was pregnant. After the birth of Juniper on Sept. 2, 2009,  we had another surprise.. I was pregnant with our second daughter about 4 months later (we like to "get it on" too much).

But, after the birth of Autumn Lillie Spriggs on Dec. 27, 2010, I became depressed.  I realized, finally, that I was a mother of 2 babies with NO college degree and NO prospects for the future. I freaked out and tried very hard to find things that would give me something to do when the children went off to school (don't know why I was thinking about them going off to school when they were both UNDER 2). Not only was I depressed about what I would do when they went off to school, I just got very tired of dealing with a "toddler" and breastfeeding a baby by myself every 2-3 hours.  After 5 weeks of waking up every 2-3 hours to feed and still waking up at dawn with another little one, any one would feel depressed.

After getting tired of doing everything by myself and realizing there were things I could do as a person in society, not just at home, I talked my husband in to letting me rejoin the Army ROTC program and many great people at the IUPUI ROTC program allowed me the ability of a 2nd chance because they thought I would be an EXCELLENT Army Officer (something I still have troubles with to this day).  But, after 1 1/2 semesters back in the program and endless nights of NO sleep because I was now a mother of 2, full time student, Army Reserve Soldier and Full Time ROTC...I realized life is SOO much better as a Full Time Mother.

So, here I am now, a full time mommy with no college degree and probably no future prospects because of my personal relationships. I love my children so much and I love my husband so much, that I would not trade this in for anything.

And now I love cooking and food. Along with plenty of exercise to work off the great food I eat :)